I'll Make You Famous…




I am – Jesus Martinez is One of Complex Magazine’s Men of Next Year of the Day


I’ve finally got some mainstream press coverage. I was featured in Complex Magazine that hits newstands today, with Lil’ Wayne and Kristen Bell on the covers. I am one of their choices as Man of Next year, in a feature they call Leaderss of the New. I guess the biggest joke is the they featured me in the magazine to begin with, but what really makes me laugh, because I know I deserve to be in this shit, is the dude we got to dress up in the wrestling mask, because I refuse to make public appearances. All these other dudes I am featured with have this press photos and are all serious and there we are at the bottom lookin’ like assholes, it makes me laugh. The other thing that makes me laugh is that Perez is featured as the Legends of the Fall-Offs on the same page.

I’ve been doing this 3 years, I’m glad someone finally paid attention to all my bitching and hope it makes me famous so that girls send me nude pictures, because that’s always been the goal of all this and it’s never really worked out for me yet, because despite being a legend of the new, I still suck at life.

Either way, from now on, I guess you gotta listen to me because as one of the men of next year, and the only blogger featured, it’s that stamp of approval that means everything I do is right and as the leader you and everyone else out there got no choice but to follow. Cuddles, Motherfuckers.

Bonus: Here’s some of the Kristen Bell Spread from the Same Issue Because Since We’re in the Same Magazine, That Pretty Much Means I’ve Had Sex With Her, or More Like the Closest I’ll Ever Get To Having Sex With Her….

Check the magazine out, in Newstands Now, We’re on Page 60, Or Visit Their Site

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