Here are some pictures of Jessica Alba’s pregnant ass to ring in the new year. I figure it’s one of the last times you’ll be able to jerk off to her because soon she’ll be a bloated mess that even her baby daddy won’t want to get up inside.

Speaking of jerking off, I was at a party the other day and I ran into some photographer who was chatting up a girl. The dude takes pretty sleazy erotic pictures of chicks and posts them online but considers himself an artist and not a pornographer. When I walked up to him as he chatted up a chick, I told him that I wanted to get invited to his next shoot so that I could stand in the corner and jerk off when it goes down, instead of jerking off to it on the computer. I was just trying to say that the real deal is probably more exciting than the photo evidence. Anyway, the girl he was with turned to me and called me a fucking creep for making my request, meanwhile dude she’s with actually gets the girls naked and takes pictures of them in obscure places for people to jerk off to and doesn’t even pay them.

I guess can’t live down my reputation and either can Jessica Alba now that we know that she has unprotected sex, gets knocked up and keeps the baby to use as a tool to keep her boyfriend because everyone knows abortions exist for a fuckin’ reason and if she cared about us, she woulda got one, at least she’s still covering her face because she’s still ashamed of herself.

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