Here are some pictures of Jessica Alba the other day that could be her first photoshoot since admitting to the world that she takes loads in her and doesn’t believe in vacuuming the STD out. It’s pretty obvious that she’s knocked up now and the baby is showing and shit, I guess it only takes 9 months to ruin 10 years of working on being a slut we all wanted to knock up.

Reality is that you’re so fucking desperate that you’d fuck a ziploc bag filled with tomato paste and pretend you were popping a virgin or some shit, so this whole Alba ruining herself in having a kid that will make her vagina never be the same again is bullshit, because her mangled post-pregnancy vagina and wonky post-pregnancy body is still going to better than any pussy you’d ever bag and by pussy you’d ever bag I mean your pussy is a bag with a little tomato paste in it. You like how I brought that full-circle – don’t you.

Bonus – Some Jessica Alba is Pregnant So Her Tits Are All Hormonal and Bigger and All You Virgin Comic Book Virgins Find that Fascinating Because You Know Nothing About Girls or Tits and Getting a Girl Pregnant is Such a Fucking Stretch For You, That You Have to Wait Until Your One Girlfriend from High school comes crawling back to you after spending the last decade being a slut and mistreated by boyfriend dream comes true like your life was Forrest Gump only a lot more boring and retarded…only to realize that it’ll never happen, but the dream keeps you going…

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