I am late starting today because I was watching this video on repeat for the last 4 hours. It is one of those so bad it’s fascinating but I am not sure why, maybe it’s the fact that bitch is in a bikini but I think it’s got more to it than that. Either way, I am a awake and here is Heidi Montag’s new music video.

Heidi Montag proves that anyone with enough money and enough teenage girls in her shitty fan club can convince a record label to produce an album for her. At least the dudes at the label weren’t complete assholes and realized that if she was in a bikini showing off her new tits, they song would be a bigger fuckin’ hit. This is one of those videos that would do better on mute because her screeching sounds don’t make me want to dance and I am a passionate dancer who has been known for dancing to the sounds of buses honking. I don’t know what I am talking about but I know that whenever I come across a real girl who can sing, I get excited, it always makes me me fantasize about them using my dick as a mic and singing into my asshole like it was their big break at the Apollo or some shit, but Heidi Montag’s just makes me feel like I am at the Mall in 1992 when they had this “Make Your Own” music video kiosk and all the girls would run their on their 16th birthdays to feel like stars for a minute…only Montag is less talented.

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