I came across this video of Lauren Conrad leaving a club and the paparazzi is a really nice guy. He calls her sweety and he tells her to be safe about 50 fuckin’ times like he is legitimately worried the paparazzi are going to Princess Diana her, except for the fact that no one gives enough of a fuck about her to run her off the road and into a cement wall. Maybe the dude was making reference to the sex she is going to be getting from the coat tail celebrity riding dude in the video, and the paparazzi doesn’t want her to get STDs or pregnant.

Speaking of unprotected sex, I wanted to message a friend of mine who knocked up a girl a couple weeks ago and who has been fighting with her to get an abortion and who actually won the battle yesterday, something nice. So I congratulated him on his abortion by asking if it turned him on. The problem is that I accidentally sent the message to a random hot girl, who like all girls older than 21, has probably had an abortion and she went nuts. It’s like shit struck a nerve, she got defensive, asked who told me about it and now thinks everyone knows she’s a fetus killer. I told her that the message was meant for someone else, and she wasn’t having it. Now she’s probably going to off herself because of the shame. Oh, the fun that is the internet.

Who fucking, knows, but I think this is the kind of game that made Britney Spears fall in love with her very own sweet talkin’ charmer of a paparazzi and again, who really gives a fuck.

Posted in:Lauren Conrad|Paparazzi