So since I have nothing better to do than waste my time, I waste my time talking to the sisters of non celebrities, and in not being very good at moving on, I decided to post some of the conversation I’ve been having with Bon Bon D’Amore, who despite her name is not a tacky pornstar, but the daughter of some Pizza Restaurant owner who’s sister was friends with Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton before they realized hanging with a Celine Dion look-a-like was a waste of time….

You’re funny! and you’re right im probably not her little sister…just happen to be some idot that knows her sister’s name. but if i am her sister, what kind would i be if i didnt defend her honor? 😉 if she got you booted from facebook u most likely deserved it and i totaly understand that “what you do is mean” its cool…you dumb fucks and your jealousy are one reason she is famous.you people are talking about her, PERIOD. so please feel free to say all u like because no publicity is bad publicity,,right. aahahaaaa  this industry kills me and i fucking love it. XOXO

Love,

Bon Bon (or some weird freak)  🙂

My Response:

I am a nice guy. You are just very aggressive and it’s a little unnecessary. You say all publicity is good publicity, so stop your whining. I know whining is all you know and was the only way you could get your dad’s attention away from his business and it may have worked when you wanted your Mercedes for your 16th birthday, and your dad got it for you, because it was easier than actually spending time with you, since after years of neglect and focus on his business he felt guilty and felt the only remedy was to buy your love and make you forget he chose his business over you, or at least let you know that all the pretty things you have is because he chose his business over you, so you don’t resent him for the choices he made, but I’m not your dad, don’t take your issues out on me, save them for your therapist, at least that way you’ll be getting your moneys worth.

I understand you live in a rich kid bubble where you are the center of the universe, where you are untouchable and where you think your sister is famous because sites like mine write about her and because she badly djs events for a lot of money despite people lrefusing to be on the same bill or in pictures with her, because they think she’s a joke,  and was friends with Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, two of the most useless people in LA, besides the cast of The Hills and because she’s been in some straight to DVD movies no one will ever see, but the truth is that I am more famous than she is on the internet, and I can give you a little taste of what she’s getting, you know give you the glory you deserve, so you can get out of her shadow, unless you are fat. In which case the only taste of fame you will have is the Superstar Combo at your favorite diner and in which case I will order you a cake any flavor you want, I am generous just let me know. 

On a side note, your sister’s boyfriend’s brother works at Facebook and pretty much set me up to be deleted and that isn’t cool.

On another side note, you and your sister should dress up like Celine Dion and her husband on halloween, you as the husband since you are fat and  have testicles and her as Celine since, because she looks like this Celine Dion impersonator who works at this Dive bar down the street from me and who sings like a fucking angel and wouldn’t even need a costume…..

I hope you are having a wonderful  Saturday and I am happy that we are new found friends and I think I may be developing feelings for you, despite not even knowing what you look like, which may be crazy, but what I do know is that you are perfection.

With Love, 
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

Her Response:

Actually it was a bmw :p
Kinda curious what u look like? Must be ugo if u hide behind ur computer

My Response

Bon Bon,

you gotta aim higher, sure BMW’s are my favorite car, but I have no taste and I wanna see you in a Bentley. Quit fuckin’ around.

I am a 38 year old Mexican, I am married. I am about 100 pounds overweight. I am poor. My wife buys my clothes at the Salvation Army. Today I am wearing a pair of sweatpants because they don’t make jeans in my size and if they do, I don’t know where to buy them, so I stick to elastic waistbands, and an old white T-shirt that has a coffee stain that I didn’t make, but it came that way, I think my wife paid 2 dollars for the outfit. I have animal slippers on, I am smoking a cigar, I don’t believe in haircuts and I don’t believe in brushing hair or shaving. My mouth smells like death because I haven’t brushed my teeth often enough and I used to live on the street, I have some kind of infection and a molar fell out last month and I think it is infected but can’t afford to see a doctor. That may be sound like I am selling myself short, but some people like me and I do always have a great tan in the summer and I have a great personality, if you like drunk, bitter, bitchy guys who are always out of breath because their heart is strugglin’. Oh, and my penis is well below average, I blame the weight cuz Oprah says for every 30 lbs you gain an inch, so I should technically be 3.5 inches bigger than my 2.5 inches hard state of today, not that I ever get hard, my drinkin’s been pretty abusive on my libido.

What do you look like and when is our first date?

Love

Jesus

Her response:

you truly are an idiot

My response:

Bon Bon,

Stop flirting with me, this is starting to geta little uncomfortable and you are kinda scaring me but as long as you don’t look like Kourtney Kardashian, I will totally let you lick my asshole.

With Love, 
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

Still nothing, so now, she’s out of my life for good and here are my links…

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