I hate Nicole RIchie. I like to think she’s my enemy. First she annoyed me on the Simple Life, even though she was the funny one on the show, because compared to Paris Hilton, anything is funny, even the immigrant kid in my building who is learning english by watching reruns of Friends and reciting the bad jokes from that show, in bad english, which may not be a great comparison, because after writing that out, I realized how funny that immigrant kid actually is and I should get him on camera making his Chandler jokes, because it could be the next huge viral video, I’m talking Chris Crocker big, and it may make me famous….or at least famous enough to be a cunt like this Nicole Richie adopted child no one wanted and Lionel felt bad for….

Nicole Richie is responsible for DJ AM’s fame and success and I hate that he is famous. I also had the chance to meet her 5 years ago, when she was with DJ AM in Montreal and security thought I was friends with the couple for some reason and brought me to her. She was too stupid to realize I had no business ther and assumed I was friends with DJ AM or some shit and I spent the night being carted around with her and some publicist chick. Everytime I made conversation with her, since it was just me and her in the booth, she acted like a cunt to me and would talk to me through the publicist and smoke cigarette after cigarette doing everything she could to ignore me, until she caught me trying to swipe her phone, something that at the time, would have provided lots of content for the site and it made her mad, when I tried to explain that I just wanted to prank text Lohan, she asked security to keep me away from her and that was the end of our love affair….and the start of my hatred.

So when I was sent her phone number a while back, I’d send mean spirited text messages to her in hopes of getting my revenge, but she took herself too seriously and changed her number a few hours later….because I guess she was too busy getting knocked up by one of the Good Charlotte sister’s suburban mall tattoos, despite them only really loving each other, and for some reason, she’s suddenly got tits and I guess no one really cares about her and tits aren’t going to change that, it’s not like they make her hot, or worth fucking, so I haven’t quit figured out why I am posting this.

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