So I am not an actual d-list celebrity and people don’t care about me, so I have to go out of my way and add random whores to my facebook in efforts to get 5000 friends and pretend I am a d-list internet celebrity that 5000 people care about, while knowing I added them all myself randomly.
The problem with adding people to facebook who you don’t know is that they question who the fuck you are….Like last night, a girl wrote this to me…
do i know you?
Sure, I’m the guy who just jerked off to your profile pic. You were amazing.
Love,
Jesus
She didn’t add me, I want to change my strategy, but my typing fingers just won’t let me.
Here’s some links…..
RIP Bettie Page
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Intervention!!
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Alyssa Milanos Nipples Are Hard Under Her Designer Sports Sweater
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Merry Christmas From Satan
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Claire Sweeney Groping Herself Throwback
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Stephanie Pratt is Lookin’…uhhh…Hefty
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Kasia is Delightful
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Pizza Prank That is Worth Trying Yourself
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Krystal Forscutt is All Oiled Up
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Why Did You Leave Me?
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No One Cares That Ashley Simpson Had a Baby, Including Me
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Some Vintage Paris Hilton
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Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
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Anna Lynne McCord Goes Shopping, or Something
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Do You Remember Stacy Dash As Well as My Penis Does?
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Fergie Still Doing What She Does Best
And By Doing What She Does Best I Mean Looking Like a Man
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Are These Girls Having Sex or Doing Yoga
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As If We Need More of This Cunts Family Walking Around the Earth
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Pranking Girls Always Makes For Good Times!
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Knocking OUt Your Girlfriend is the Only Logical Thing to Do After You Tear Off Your Pants
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Because I Want Your Thursday Night to Go As Smooth As Possible
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I Want a Super Suit for Christmas
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Wino’s Soon to Be Ex Husband Got His Ass Beat Upon Returning to Jail
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Tropical Triaminic
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Giulia Olivetti is Model Material If You Ask Me
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Tabitha is on a Red Leather Sofa
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Lydia and Miranda Are Lovely
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Britney Spears Gets Excited Joke….
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Stevie Wonder Wants to Join Dancing With the Stars
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Striptease of the Day
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Dump Truck Flips Out
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A Tv Nipple Slip Always Brightens My Day
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Micha and Jess ARe Good Fucking Friends
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Ciara is Lovely
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Samantha Buxton Goes Swimming
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Who Knew Slovakia Had Such Fine Exports
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I’m Gonna Be All Over Rhianna If It’s the Last Thing I Do
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Shay Laren is in Leopard Print
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Waste More Time Here
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Audrina Patridge Is Looking Kind Of Alrigt
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Hilter was a Good Boss
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Enrique’s Makin’ Out With a 17 Year old Slut on Stage….Criminal….
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What Could Be Lady Gaga’s Nipple….
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A Little Carrie Fisher Interview for Those of You Still In Love with Princess Lea
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A Couple KFC Workers Taking a Bath in the KFC Sink in their Underwear….
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Jesica Cirio is Some Model Showing Off Her Crazy Agentina Ass in a Thong….
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Make Milk Into Marbles. Seriously
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What Flavor of Jello Pussy
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Some Crazy Fake Tits…
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