I'll Make You Famous…




Michael Lohan Wrote Me An Email of the Day

Lohan’s dad’s started up a blog of some sort and sent out a release to a bunch of sites, mine not included, so I took it upon myself to email him stating I have the best site and should be on his email list, not that it makes any difference to me, considering he’s a fucking nobody and this is what he wrote to me:

From: Mike Lohan
Subject: Re: wtf
Date: December 29, 2008 3:10:14 PM GMT-05:00
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

The “best one”???? Are you kdding? IThe reason I have my website is because of people like you.
How can you say such disgusting and horrible things about people. Nevertheless Lindsay.
Let me tell you something Buid, you need to seriuosly look at your heart and thank God that I will only fight for charity. If I didn’t have so much to look forward to in life and for God, I might just look you up. That’s my daughter you are saying such digusting things about, and whether we have differnces or not, she is still my flesh and blood. Watch your step and your mouth!
maybe you should seek some spiritual guidance. 

My response….because he’s a fucking child….and spells like a fucking child….


I see where your daughter gets her emotional instability from. Not only did you rob her of a childhood, but you also robbed her of a paternal figure. Why do you think she was rumored to have had so many illicit relationships with men, why do you think she’s now a lesbian. Daddy issues. You fucking suck as a parent and I can only assume as a person.

So don’t tell me what I say is disgusting or spiritually void. I do satire, comedy, sure it’s at the expense of others, sure it’s not tasteful or classy, sure no one finds it funny but me, but I go to bed, knowing that the only life I’ve ruined has been my own and not a helpless little girl I brought into the world, who had talent, potential and the opportunity that you destroyed.

I hope for her sake, she stays as far away possible from you and your self indulgence, your self destruction, your sociopathic behavior, your total disregard to anything human and more importantly you exploitative ways. You’re a fucking hypocrite trying to throw got down my throat, where was god when you were cheating on your family making bastard babies you won’t parent, where was god when you were drinking yourself and going to fucking jail.

Keep trying to ride her wave and claim you found Jesus you fucking cunt, when we all know you’re just a useless piece of shit who is better off hanging from the fucking rafters of the attic of his home his daughter sold her soul to buy for him.

Get some fucking perspective you fucking pig of a person, and stop crying for attention like you did to your daddy when you were a child and when your daddy and everyone around you liked everyone else but you.

Maybe you should get back on the coke you used to use your daughter’s money to buy, maybe that will distract you from always trying to be in the media, because the prescription pills you’re and you’re already going to hell, so sort it the fuck out, cocksucker.

So, what’s it like whoring out your daughter? Is it what I’ve always dreamt it would be? And for the record, you’re daughter is one of my best friends, she just doesn’t know it yet.

I hope your website fails, like everything else in your useless life has. Welcome to my world.

That said, maybe we can work together. Your first assignment is to send me some hot nude pics of Dina. Thanks in advance.

PS – Nice Rolex, you pay for that shit yourself? Or did Mean Girls cover that one, you pansy ass turtleneck, cellphone belt attachment, Seifeld lookin’ motherfucker.

PPS – I know you, Lindsay and Samantha are all in this together for media attention, negative publicity, and I just bit the bait. Fuck you for that.

ppps – Real men don’t read gossip sites, what’s that say about you? Maybe that you’re not a real man? Maybe that your daughter learned about vaginas by accidentally walking in on you while you were taking a shower.

pppps – this is getting boring….

With Love, 
Jesus Martinez

And that was the end of that….

Posted in:Michael Lohan

  • cubeyfresh

    dude LOL OWNED

  • York

    What a freak! Telling other people what to do and how to experience God , to be a total loser! Hahaha To bad to have a father like that….

  • 0224


  • feefee

    When i get pissed at someone could u write them an email for me?
    lovin it!

  • P

    keep up the good work jesus

  • Fartface McMuffin

    This is now my new favorite blog.

  • diidou

    HAHAHAHA nice one
    totally what we all have in our mind
    can’t wait for his response to OK magazine

  • fuck you

    nice reply but, when you insult someone try to use proper english. paragraph 3 and 6 i really don’t understand. what’s “got”? and what’s the you’re – you’re stuff.

    overall, good reply, but be careful.
    ps, he’s a cockhead and i have no idea about this guy

  • oh nice. you insulted some dude via mail. awesome. how pathetic is this post …and ur life if this is the stuff that bothers you. and how pathetic is the fact that you even need appreciation for that shit on the interwebs? have a look at yourself, you poor fucktard. turn off ur pc and come back when you passed puberty.

  • Allison

    Re: whocares

    You don’t find it ironic at all that you’re insulting Jesus via Internet? And not only that, you are reading a gossip site . . . Hm, maybe your time could be spent more productively, then . . .

  • ehrrrr yehs, i’m aware of the irony and yes, i know that my time could be spent more productively just right now. yet i can’t seem to have a problem w/ that^^

  • Melody

    Nice! Love it!

  • Dré MR2

    Dear mr Martinez…. There is only one thing I have to say after I red your mail to mr Lohan
    keep up the good work man
    Greetings, Dré from the Netherlands

  • tini

    Nice. Has he responded back yet?

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