Nothing says water sport like pissing on some unsuspecting bitch’s face while she suntans on the beach your on than paddlesurfing. You know they mean business when you can surf in a pair of sweatpants.

I have had a long hatred for this Hollywood trend called paddle surfing since I first found out it existed, because it is fucking stupid. If you want to go for a paddle, get a fucking canoe. If you want to go for a surf, put on a fucking wetsuit and surf, this hybrid shit looks fucking stupid, seems boring as shit and is probably the weirdest combination since blacks and asians started having babies. I don’t really know what that means, but it has to do with their genitals just not being able to fit into each other but still getting together, like riding a surfboard fully clothed with a fucking paddle.

What doesn’t confuse me is Kate Hudson’s booty, even when it’s in jogging pants that are crawling up her ass to find gold and by gold I mean poo..

Posted in:Kate Hudson|Paddle Surfing