I remember trying to convince a girl I was dating to get herself an IUD, or to get on the fuckin’ pill, because we don’t want to get her pregnant and I always cut holes in the comdoms so that they’d accidentally break, because she was the kind of girl who always insisted on using condoms, even after dating for 4 months monogamously, and I’d want that natural feeling. At first, I’d only do it on special occassions, like on my birthday, or on Saturday nights after drinking or getting high, knowing the sex would be awesome and she’d be in good enough spirits to no notice, but then I got hooked ont he skin on skin feeling, so was staging the broken condom shit every second day, until one day, I got sloppy and she walked in on my tampering with the fuckin’ goods, only to freak the fuck out for me “jeopardizing” her pussy, and she never spoke to me again, except for the time she called me threatening my life because she failed the papsmear and I’d given her HPV. The “these things happen” rationale didn’t really go over very well.

That story has nothing to do with Hayden Panettiere.

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