I just did a post on Madonna making the right choice in bathing suits and now I’m doing a post on Charlize Theron making the wrong choice in bathing suits, leading me to believe that I should start a new website giving beach and watersport fashion advice, since I’m a fuckin’ expert on the shit, at least a self-proclaimed expert on the shit, where my logic is a complex as saying if you’re hot put on less clothes and if you’re disgusting, old, weathered, fat cover that shit up cuz none of us want to see it and in Charlize Theron’s case, while she walks along the beach, only steps away from being wet and splashing around in the surf, wearing this outfit is just fuckin’ wrong and unfair to the people who rent your movies and look at your Playboy spread for inspiration and a better tomorrow. Dressing like you’re an accountant going to a fuckin company picnic is boring, now take off your fuckin pants you South African whore.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Charlize Theron