I used to do the Lohan deathwatch before becoming best friends with Lohan and realizing that she’s not going to die anytime soon, so I stopped the shit. So the last 6 months of having no Celebrity Death Watch, except for maybe the occassional Patrick Swayze post cuz I actually know he’s gonna die and that’s way less exciting that Kurt Cobain style surprises that devastate a nation, but the last few weeks I’ve been noticing Mischa Barton getting greyer and greyer lookin, unshowered and disgusting lookin, ready to throw in the towel on the game of life and ready to see if there really is a God and if that God will cast her in one of his stage shows in the sky, which he probably won’t but he’ll probably let her be a real actresses assistant or some shit.

Either way, Mischa Barton is the start of Drunkenstepfather.com’s celebrity death watch and now we just have to wait for her acceptance speech for this glorious honor that I doubt will ever come, because even though I’m alive, this site might as well be dead….it just lays here and does nothing while I just get weirder and weirder….

Posted in:Celebrity Death Watch|Mischa Barton