I wonder how many people have died masturbating and not the kind of masturbation that kills like with electronics in showers or with belts wrapped around your fucking neck. You know, dying from good old, jerkin’ off.
Back when my dick worked and I was a lot younger and a lot more insecure, I always had a little bit of fear in the back of my mind that I’d die in the midst of jerking off and some poor fucker, like my landlord or neighbor would find me dick in hand, porn on tv, dead. So every time I’d jerk off, I’d rush it to cum before my heart gave out….
Now I wish my dick stayed hard enough and that I wasn’t desensitized and have such a short attention span so that I’d have the chance to die jerking off, cuz I don’t think it’d be that bad a way to go, if anything it’d be a great final joke, especially considering it’s only goal I’ve ever seen to completion in my life…..until my poor health took that away from me…not that you care…I mean why would you care about an old tired guy’s masturbation anxieties from decades ago and inadequacies today…so here are my stepLINKS…in efforts to pretend we didn’t just have this conversation….
Record Breaking Coctail Genius….
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Tiger Woods Wife Just Hit the Jackpot
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The Hannah Montana Doll is Fucking Fun!!Especially If You Put it Up Your Ass.
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The 10 Hottest Massachusetts Women
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WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BRITNEY MURPHY?!
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Find Sluts Here
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This Drunken Sumo Wrestler Game is Something I Can Relate Too
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Rachel Stevens Upskirt
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Seriously, Who the FUCK Updates Their Facebook During Their Wedding? – VIDEO
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I Wanna Fuck David Ducovney’s Wife
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The Iraqi Shoe Thrower Got….A Shoe Thrown at Him
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A Flowchart to Determine If You Can Get Away With Having a Mistress
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Amateur Slut Models All Sorts of Lingerie
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Some Taylor Swift Bikini Shots
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Stevie Wonder Broke Down and Cried During a Michael Jackson Tribute and Don’t Fucking Laugh Cause It’s Pretty Gut Wrenching
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Miley Cyrus Bikini Pics
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Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson Are Fucking Again
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Ashley Simpson is a Self Entitled Cunt
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How Awesome Would a Lindsay Lohan/Jessica Alba Cat Fight Be
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Television Just Got a Whole Lot More Shittier – VIDEO
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Topless Kick Boxing Iveta Vale
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I Admire Her Skill But Her Aim is Off – VIDEO
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Six Perky Tits in One Room
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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VIP Upskirts and a Lot of Flashing in a Hot Party
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Mini Dirt Bike Product Test…The Chinese way
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Jerry Jer AKA TAMPON MAN – VIDEO
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Steven Seagal Will Arrest, Possibly Eat You
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Joanna Krupa is Sexy and Topless
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She’s Showing Off Her Pussy and Tits!
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Well Hello There Valentina
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A Little Bit of Allessandra Ambrosio
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Two School Girls and Their Lollipops
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Some Literal Human Wrecking Balls
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When Sammie and Sandy Took a Shower…
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Angel Dark is on a White Sand Beach
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Afternoon Pick-Me-Up: Thy La
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Gabrielle Union is Lookin Hot
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Let It Slide Video
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Baby Sitting Fail – VIDEO
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Heather is Bent Over
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Alexis’ Ass is GLORIOUS
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I Gotta Admit, Britney is Doing and Lookin Half Alright
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Ahhhhh Leona Lewis
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Some Magazine Where PEnelope Cruz is Talking About Something But I Don’t Care Cause I Am Distracted By Her Hotness
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VALENTINA’S PUSSY IS RIPE AND READY FOR PENETRATION!
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Posted in:stepLINKS