I made 50 dollars today. It was a fucking joke. I went to every coffee shop in the area, threw a dime into the tip jar and took out a dollar, not one person caught on and it’s not really stealing considering they get paid by the hour anyway, it’s like free fucking money. Seriously, I have tried to steal in the past and I have always got busted, whether it was the Playboy VHS when I was 19 that landed me in the Security office of the local mall, or the pair of boxers I tried to steal cuz I shat myself that landed me in the fucking police station, thinking, wow, cops really have nothing better to do with their time, but all that taught me that I may not be very slick, but I guess I was today and now I’m going to get fucking drunker than usual, cuz my wife only gives me 20 dollars a day to live off of…On a side note, Lohan is writing a tell all book and I am trying to be the ghostwriter. Sure, I don’t really know how to write, but figure writing a chapter describing each sexual partner she’s had is really my life purpose…so if you know Lohan let her know I’m ready…okay…drinking time….
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Follow Me to the Path of Enlightenment
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Bonus – Insane Shipping Container Turned into a Helicopter
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Also…………
I Got Paid To Write an Article For the First Time in My Life
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