There’s a big media push behind this Isabel Lucas bitch. She’s some Australian who wanted to make it in America because she saw success at home and figured it was an easy transition. She pretty much only got work in Transformers and people noticed that she was hot, but that was the extent of the shit, but now she’s on her fucking hustle to remind people that she’s more than just hot, she’s the next big fucking thing…..

I can always tell when someone’s got fire under their career’s ass, because the paparazzi agencies start posting more pictures of them, they start doing more stunts and appearances, and most importantly they usually start wearing see-through clothes, accidentally flash nipple or pussy and if we’re real lucky, sex tape…cuz hollywood is pretty much equally trashy as porn…..

So walking around the airport with a guitar like the homeless lesbian who badly sings old punk songs and claims she’s looking for money to travel may not quite be what we’re looking for, but I assume there was a miscommunication…they said “keep your instrument unwrapped and out of the bag”…I’m hoping another miscommunication is that she’s supposed to be filming in Montreal and now she’s dating Jake Gyllenhaal, a very unfortunate thing for anyone, even if he’s got a crush on Australians every since Heath left his life and makes her rise to getting noticed easier…..when really all she needs to do is suck it up and let out her genitals….

People dig her, she’s hot, but I hate her for the Gyllenhaal shit, I just can’t see past that, even if it’s social climbing, the good news is that she’s supposed to be in Montreal, I’m in Montreal and will try to talk her out of this strategy and give her a DrunkenStepfather make-over, but no the kind of make-over I give my wife, because not everyone is so open minded to getting shit on….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Isabel Lucas|PR PUSH