Amanda Bynes Turns Me On…

The highlight of the day is the Amanda Bynes getting arrested wearing a ridiculous wig and heading to court wearing the same ridiculous wig because of something so ridiculous like throwing a bong out the window in what is hardly a crime, especially not in New York City, where hookers and drug dealers are thrown out windows on the daily, but that is a crime when a PR team are crafting a storyline to get attention to lead up to a reality show by having her act as outrageous as possible, you know since it is more wholesome of an approach than a sex tape, and still gets the public interested in her enough to replenish her and her families funds….

Her parents are even participating in the whole thing saying she used to hear voices and think there were tracking devices in the smoke alarms because at a young age the only people she trusted robbed her of her freedom making her paranoid about everything….or more importantly…cuz they want this story to go viral because it will make everyone a lot of money….

I just don’t buy this act. Everything is a lie.

What I do believe is that she’s a glorious angel sent from heaven, and there is nothing more that I’d like than to save her and her broken soul, that we can blame the entertainment industry for….through love and anal sex, and the last 6 months, I’ve been trying to get her to notice me, and interact with me, to pave the way for our glorious union, but she just ignores me….but I won’t let that stop me…true love will conquer all….I just hope she doesn’t accidentally die in the making of this bullshit story, you know getting carried away with the act because that would make me eating her out a whole new level of gross, you know with her being dead and all that dirt from digging her up…and all….

All this to say…Amanda Bynes, Be my child bride….or at least let me pay you 5,000 dollars to host a stepfather party in my basement…

She is the best. Gangster til the end. I’m a fan.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes