Maria Menounos celebrated her 35th birthday cuz she’s old as fuck, and in celebrating her 35th birthday party she got into a bikini top because I guess she didn’t get the memo that no one wants to see a 35 year old in a fucking bikini. There’s this thing that happens at 34, where a bikini becomes off limits, no matter how fit a bitch is, but for some reason ,bitches never follow that rule. Not that I’m complaining, I look at any disaster in a bikini, I’m just looking out for her best interest, you know if I don’t let her know she’s old as fuck, no one will, cuz being on TV means everyone around you just sucks your dick all day and makes shit delusional…

At least she covered up her greek vagina (ass), by wearing shorts, because usually the ass is the first to start melting.

Posted in:Maria Menounos