This weekend would have been better if the girl I was trying to pick up at the bar didn’t turn out to be a girl who lived across the street from me, in an apartment one floor higher than mine, who spent the better part of 2 years, looking in on my blind-less, curtain less, one room masturbation haven…I’m talking would have parties and groups of people would watch me and laugh…bringing joy to college kids a decade ago…like I was Patch Adams and they were cancer patients…
Turns out that watching me masturbate for 2 years…doesn’t lead to wanting to have sex with me in a back alley.
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