Today I coached a sorority girl who is barely 19 – to have her first lesbian experience
I coached another girl to use a butt plug she got as a gag gift
And I negotiated another video of a girl getting fucked by two dudes at a frat party, that she didn’t really want me to see, but that she couldn’t resist sending, because I’m romantic…
All this to say, if nudes and sexting was a job and not just a creepy perversion…I’d probably be pretty top of the industry…
But my talents lie in things that don’t buy private jets…but who needs private jets when you have spread asshole pics…as you guide young girls on their sexual journey because they’ve never met you and don’t realize how disgusting, sweaty, obese and unshowered you are…
All this to say, it is Oscar weekend, where the real people who matter in our society get to massage their egos even more than they do everyday – with some massive award show that doesn’t fucking matter
I’d live blog it, and I may on TWITTER , since I haven’t been nominated this year…
Here’s an Oscar pick up like “You’re a better trophy than an Academy Award…I’d rather win an __(insert bitch’s name)___ than an Oscar”….
You’re welcome…Here are some links…
Anna Kendrick’s Farts Smell Like Farts
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Woman Arrested for Masturbating in 50 Shades Movie
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Taylor Swift Set To Nicki Minaj GIFs
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Pam Anderson’s Wrecked Face of the Day
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Jessica Lowndes Strategy is Working
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Fame Whore in a Bikini of the Day
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The Oscar Coke Statue is Amazing
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Tits Tits And More Tits
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Beyonce Cleavage
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Rihanna Bikini Pics to Celebrate her Birthday
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Elisa is the Slut of the Day
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Mila Kunis Mom Tits
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Lily Aldridge Legs
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Waka Flocka Reads 50 Shades of Grey
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Jay Z Got Hit With a Paternity Suit
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Porn Star Arrest of the Day
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Hot Girls in the Middle of Nowhere Wanting to be Raped
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28 Tampon Horror Stories That Will Seriously Freak You Out
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Women’s Golf Trick Shots
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The 20 Year Old McDonalds…
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Charles Barkely Golf Swing
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Rihanna Kinda TOpless in Another Magazine
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Annalynne McCord in the Parking Lot
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Elisabetta Canalis is an Escort Now
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Jourdan Dunn Legs
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Olivia Munn in a Magazine
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Highway Shut Down for 400 Pounds of Frozen Shit
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Robot Man Eats a Sandwich
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The Strangest and Most Bizarre Graves from Around the World
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Danica Patrick Post-Race Argument
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Adrienne Baillion in a See Through Dress
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Britney Spears and Melissa Joan Hart – Together
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Drug Deal of the Day
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Surfing Dolphins!
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Scarlett Johansson Mom in LEggings
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Crazy Medical Practices That People Once Thought Made Sense
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Stadium Webcam Visitor
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Girls in their Mirror Selfies
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Amber Rose VS Kanye Fight
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Emma Watson May be Dating Prince Harry – The Bootleg King
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The Anastasia AShley Video You Should Fucking Watch
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From stepSMUT!! VERY NSFW!
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FREE NAKED GIRLS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD LETTING YOU WATCH
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The Biggest Dildo Ever
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Today in Masturbation AIDS
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Fart Smeller of the Day
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How To Tell if She Has a Real Orgasm
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Greek Sluts and Their Tits
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The Caravan of Latex
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Monster Strap On
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Katie Fey Showers
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Gia Genevieve Huge Tits
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The Hottest Erotic Movies on NetFlix
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The Lesbian Whipped Cream in Ass Farting Video of the Day
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Redneck Bath!
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Reddit Amateur and her Huge Tits
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Girls Naked and Getting Stoned!
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The Best Fucking Links Ever
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Get The Best Celebrity Sex Tapes Now!!!
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My Official Instagram – FOLLOW Me Into the Darkness…..
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