It always sucks when you find out the coffee cup that you drink out of, that your neighbor gave you as a gift, because it says “World’s Biggest Asshole” out of it, wasn’t actually bought for you, but was instead what he used to jerk off into for a solid three years, until it would get filled to the brim, at which time he’d do a quick rinse…not a wash..but a rinse to start over again. I guess he was into seeing just how much seed he was spilling…a test of his testicles and prostate’s capabilities…all working together….as a cohesive team…that I unfortunately had no idea about and have been using for 2 years…until finding out this weekend when he walked by me and saw me with the cup and said “oh fuck, you actually use that cup I gave you”…to which I said “everyday”….thinking it was what someone who gifted you something want to hear…until he divulged a story after he calmed down from his manic laughing about how his cup was treated before it was gifted…a story no one ever gifted anything wants to hear….when it comes to things they eat / drink out of….

Life lesson, don’t trust an angry neighbor’s peace offering…and dont’ use that peace offering every day for two years…unless you’re into that kind of thing.

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