I get drunk every night and pass out on the floor. Usually at home alone while watching random Christmas movies, basically all year round and not in this VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS season…because why limit the drunken holiday office party to just one day a year…when you work alone…it can be everyday…and when you molest yourself when drunk you can’t get fired….you can get herpes though…apparently…so I’ve heard…always wash your beef salami slices from the back of your fridge before you fuck it.

I wake up throughout the night laughing out loud…or LOLing to you young folk who don’t know what letters that make up words are for since it is inefficient….anyway I wake up from jokes I tell myself in my sleep…perverted jokes, jokes about being molested or not being molested, rape jokes, you know good shit…but when I wake up…I rememeber none of them. It is like the ghost in my house is an ex comedian who just fucking chats me up all night making me laugh despite not liking to laugh….only to take those jokes away from me before I can share them for you….or maybe it is just Cabin Fever..I haven’t really left the house, if you can call it a house, since mid september…besides grocery stores once a week….so we’ll go with cabin fever other than the talking to myself…the feeling of the walls caving in on me…it feels like a mould filled womb…the only womb I’ve ever known..

So while I set up a seance to lure my ghost to bring me the comedy I can steal to make fun of celebrities and their tits….here are some CHRISTMAS COOKIES in the form of stepLINKS not GINGERBREAD MEN…cuz Gingers have weird overly pink pussies that scare me.

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