It’s Valentine’s Day so do your wife a favour and don’t jerk off to celebs being sluts, and yes, by wife I mean girl locked in your basement who you’ve abducted because of your deep rooted love of love, a romantic..and if you’re not a horny Lohan level predator, with no woman in your basement…by wife I mean whatever apparatus you, living or dead or inanimate that you have sex with…including but not limited to cured meats, ziploc bags full of raw chicken or over cooked pasta, many options that you’re far too familiar with….valentine’s day every day!!
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