I like to think that I am the dog you see on the side of the street humping the dead dog that was just hit by a car also on the side of the street in a seize the fucking day…you necrophiliac fuck…opportunity knocks you take it….kind of motherfucker…

But there was a time I was invited to Courtney Stodden’s Halloween party….and I didn’t go to the fucking Halloween party and this was when she was still at her tabloid peak, probably before she was into the solo sex tapes and shit….and that was me not being the dog humping the dead dog on the side of the street in a seize the fucking day situation…and it’s not like I had ever been invited anywhere before that or after that and here I was spitting in the face of opportunity…

Not that going to a Halloween party is a big deal or it would amount to anything…it’s not like Stodden had anyone important at her party or that I’d even have seen her at her party…It’s not that I was hoping for romance with Stodden, but sneaking into her panty drawer could have been life changing…so that makes her ridiculous novelty boobs all the better…or I could have made T-Shirts saying “I went to Stodden’s Halloween Party and You Didn’t”….which would probably make no one around me jealous because about 1% of people know who Stodden is or that she exists…but I do…and here she is.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Courtney Stodden