I did take college level film classes back in the 90s, where you’d basically sit in a 3 or 4 hour class and watch either one or two movies and do really lame ass analysis or have really stupid intellectual conversations about the themes in the movies….it didn’t teach you how to write a good movie, what to include in a movie, how to use a camera or act or even tell a good story, but it did get you watching one or two movies a week that you may or may not have seen…amongst a bunch of nerd fucks with too much time on their hands taking movies too fucking seriously not realizing that it’s a fucking business and analyzing movie like it is art is like sitting around analyzing a pair of Nike Sneakers…writing reports on the symbolism of the swoosh….doesn’t it mean some systemmic racist shit? It must…SNEAKERS ARE RACIST.
So in having that film class under my belt, I feel like I should apply to be a film critic, with all these streaming shit, I should write you a review of all the shit that I watch, because like all you other puppets, I’m committed to the streaming apps on a nightly basis, where I get drunker and higher and drunker watching this meaningless shit….
Last night, I watched White Lotus, the Mike White Survivor who I remember from BUCK & CHUCK back in the early 2000s even though I couldn’t tell you what that show was about, but I do know he wrote, directed, starred in it and ended up a name we’ve seen over the last 20 years….good for him…
In White Lotus, a Daddario, who is hotter than she is in photos, but still way overhyped is a newlywed couple at some expensive resort…married to some asshole rich dude…you know the love story of the hot chick….and this is the sex scene…which not much sex…
In fact, in the first episode Reality Bites star Steve Zahn, has a scene holding his dick, and I’m thinking if they are showing us Steve Zahn’s dick, we’re destined to see Daddario’s labia…but two episodes in…the tit is all we got…
The other good news, is that Sydney Sweeney’s in the show, playing Steve Zahn’s bratty drug addict teenager who we will likely not see naked, because that would imply homosexual Mike White likes the idea or fantasy of teen girls naked…
That’s been my film critic, review of White Lotus….I wonder if the NY POST will hire me….cuz it will only get better from here…
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Posted in:Alexandra Daddario