I don’t have a very exciting life. I am old, I don’t have kids to divert my attention to as they live their life, I don’t have interests or hobbies, I really just drink and stare at walls, but this weekend…I got nice and black out drunk and in my stupor I thought I was getting it on with my obese wife, who I typically avoid all human contact with, you know not the most loving or romantic environment, but she is 300 pounds and I think it’s safe to say…disgusting…but you know when you’re drunk and you’ve got an erection for the first time this month you make bad, shameful even, decisions…it’s probably 90s percent of the reason alcohol is legal, just not in Philadelphia, I saw that was getting rationed, sucks to be you, but yeah….so here I am convinced I’m eating her dirty fat lady asshole…and when I come to my senses, which typically happens after orgasm, I realize I wasn’t eating her asshole, I was eating an salami sandwich that was at the bottom of our cooler after a camping trip we went on a few weeks ago….

Here are some morning links in the morning….cuz it’s morning somewhere….

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