Mary J Blige Bikini of the Day

2022

Aug

I know what you’re thinking, or what you think about every night when you crawl in bed alone, sad but willing to try to jerk yourself into some kind of dopamine state or trance, that will help you sleep, I know this because this is the internet and I capture all your data, knowing you better than you know yourself, you know TikTok gets called Chinese Spyware, because it tracks all your photos, locations, searches, conversations, and gets stored on the cloud in the event the powers that be need to reference it, well, DrunkenStepfather was there first and we’ve concluded that you’re a fucking pervert, now if only I knew how to update the site from it’s 2004 form, we’d be in business..

But yeah, I know the first thought that comes to mind in your romantic masturbation sessions with yourself is “I need more Mary J. Blige Bikini to Get Off”…even though the rest of us don’t even know who Mary J. Blige is because the last time we heard her name or music was in the 90s……

So the answers to all your prayers have been answered, some Mary J Blige Bikini….