So there’s a story going around about some groupie bitch who managed to seduce the fat boy turned surf bro with her surf lifestyle that he was drawn to, since celebrities are fucking lame and have no actual souls, they surround themselves with what they think are authentic people to get that real life experience, because otherwise life is boring in their castles on their piles of money with groupie pussy being thrown at them all day, even when they look like Jonah Hill….
You know, so surf bro was trying to get into surfing, and down to earth seeming surf girl tricked him into her bussy bear trap, and for a minute or two, the empty celebrity felt emotions, maybe even love, for the instagram surf life he was living….
Anyway, while things got more and more serious, the celebrity clearly felt like he was dealing with a groupie who gamed him, who was using him, who was garbage trash and trying to leverage his fame for her own…it’s the curse of celebrity…NO ONE LOVES YOU FOR YOU BRO….
So dude drew a line in the sand, said “if you want to get with this baby fat boy dick, you have to respect my boundaries, if not, I ain’t right for you”…..REASONABLE….and even respectful…
His clauses were if you want to surf with dudes, be a whore in a bikini, be up on dudes you friendzone but mooch attention from, post slutty pics, and deal with crazy bitches, fuck off…
REASONABLE….he’s a famous fat fuck you know….
Anyway, they broke up, he got a new girl, knocked her up and now this salty ass surf bitch is mad, so she’s trying to put him on blast and any normal person would say “groupie trying to get more attention from her peak of celebrity, which unfortunately for her was dating Jonah Hill”….because she didn’t get famous enough dating Jonah Hill…so she’s got to create some woke, libtard, feminist angle around the relationship to go viral, since she still relies on Jonah Hill to matter….
And ALL the woke, lame, middle of the road bitches are acting like she’s some hero, abuse victim, get the fuck out of here, you mooch cunt….
The female HIVE mind, LOVES this shit as much as they HATE trump and the whole thing is so fucking obvious….
The funny thing in the whole story is the surf bitch he was with, now with 100k more fans, is a fucking dog…dude…
Why is this a fucking story? Clearly the victim in all this is Jonah Hill getting gamed by some mooch cunt. She is so obvious, but people aren’t seeing it, I don’t get it, but clearly her FUCK isn’t that good, if dude wasn’t willing to put up with her bullshit.
Posted in:Jonah Hill