COLD PLAY FANS ARE LIKE PULL THAT DRAGON SHAPED DILDO OUT MY ASS, I’m not going to be GAY for our LORD AND SAVIOR CHRIS MARTIN’s pussy.

Chris Martin’s pussy is more than just ridden with HERPES he got from GWYNETH PALTROW or MONKEY POX he got from fucking gay AFRICANS…

She is also a third generation Hollywood whore, her granny cockteased Hitchcock so her mom could cocktease the world, before letting MIAMI VICE drop his fucking contraband up inside her….creating this boring fucking actress.

She was cast in 50 SHADES of GREY, a book that taught old bored housewives how to masturbate or fuck again, after years of giving up on that shit.

It made the pervert who wrote that shit for the old ladies a lot of money and it led to a hyped up movie that was based on Maggie Gyllenhaal’s SECRETARY, only there was nothing hot about it….when it was supposed to be a movie chicks jerk off to.

I saw clips of it and this bitch had ZERO sex appeal, so even with her TITS OUT it’s a lot like TAYLOR SWIFT…

Shit’s so boring, even her bike shorts don’t want to climb inside her to get creamed while she shows us all her aggressive cameltoe, these shorts are not COLD PLAY fans and are like “I’ll sit this one out”….

To the COLD PLAY FANS…this is what they’d reverse engineer their homosexuality for, a little CONVERSION therapy to get close to where their man’s dick has been.

This post is for them.

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Posted in:Dakota Johnson