We used to call girls like this Slim Fats. It was a play on the popular weightloss drink Slim Fast. We were so clever back then. Where did it all go wrong. You’d think those budding comedic geniuses would have gone onto create gold…but instead here I am….and now I just call girls like this sloppy bitches…

Lohan is unhealthy, she has a gunt and a belly, she looks like she’s either pregnant, or just malnourished, it happens when you’re a coked up boozehhound jacked up on prescription pills…half dead, but still alive…your implants hanging off your body from a thread of skin…because you no longer have any muscle mass, yet you are still a size zero..

This is up on some Ethiopian distended belly from a life of eating sand and flies and ebola…only far less depressing because she’s a rich, hollywood starlet who was so privileged, had so much access and opportunity, and now she’s just rich…I know..real fucking tragedy compared to dying AIDS babies..and I know..it’s possible there’s a dying or already dead AIDS baby in her uterus that hasn’t been queefed out yet…it happens with careless self destructive sex…but we’re not talking about that one..we’re talking about LOHAN.

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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan