Her name is Tamara Mellon and I was going to rip into her for being a fame fuckin’ whore who recently got dumped by Christian Slater and is now using his handout to go on vacation and clear her groupie whore mind, but I accidentally googled her and found out that she’s ridiculously successful. She was an editor a Vogue, started a shoe company called Jimmy Choo and if I know what that shit is, it means it’s big. Celebs love the shit, money grubbin’ wallet fuckers love the shit, rich kids on coke love the shit, Jimmy Choo is huge.

So I guess it is possible, women can make it in the world, I’m sure there’s more to this story, I mean she must have fucked someone, somewhere along the line, I mean I know I wouldn’t turn down her 40 year old ass if it came knockin’ at my door for a small investment, unfortunately all I can afford is a jar of Sea Shells my wife brought back from her Florida retreat 2 years ago, I mean that and the magical fingers, if you have the ability to ignore smells and permantent lesions and stains. Oh baby, am I turning you on yet???

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Christian Slater|Ex