This is not a very big surprise, not because I pretty much saw it happening the one time I saw Dancing with the Stars, and noticed that Jewel’s rodeo husband was a little uncomfortably into his dancing partner, and that was before they spent hours upon hours pressed up against each other, sweating, pulsating to the beat of the music, his erection in her lycra leotard ass, but because after listening to Jewel’s music, there’s no fucking way she’s not a fucking lesbian. Bitch lived in a car, walked around barefoot, played the accoustic guitar, hugged trees and played with wild animals, you know trying to domesticate them to be her audience before venturing out to LA to make it big. The idea of her being married is more shocking to me than the fact that she’s insisted on adding the dancing partner into their relationship and the whole thing should be motivation for you to marry a dyke.
