I am not a fashion consultant for anyone, except my friend old friend Ray, who’s a little hopeless. Dude smoked so much meth we think he’s turned himself into a retard, because dealing with this guy is like dealing with a Corky. So I take him the the Salvation Army, I buy him a T-Shirt, I pocket the change and buy a 6-pack. That’s the reason I hang with Ray and take Ray shopping. Part of me loves Ray and the government program that pays Ray and the way Ray gets me drunk. I’d like to pay tribute to Ray, just like Tara Reid is paying tribute to her vagina, by dressing up like it. I guess it’s in memory of when she could use it, you know before the HPV and Herpes caused the hole to close. I am not a gyno, but sometimes I pretend I am with homeless girls – just to see their cooters. I’m back.

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