I had a bet that I would fuck Christina Aguilera at one point in my life. In 1997 it seemed like it was possible. She was a good girl who had years ahead of her to go sour and I was an ambitious alcoholic who was addicted to drugs and totally fucking delusional and believed I was going to get to Hollywood and find a way to stick my dick inside the bitch…but with my laziness came marrying a fat chick for security and with her lack of a father came marrying a really ugly dude and having his baby pretty much killing herself without actually killing herseland I guess the whole thing officially went sour when the guy I made the bet with died in a car accident….but I can still celebrate her fake tits like I did when they were slowly being installed in installments so that she didn’t just show up after a vacation with huge tits, throwing off her 10 year old girl fans in a time when the world was way more sensitive….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

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