I hung out with Lohan once. I didn’t get to see her tits. She had them pretty covered up but I can tell you this, but I did get to drink her booze in a hotel suite while she was locked in her bedroom…and that was pretty spectacular, but not as spectacular as her tits…

I’ve got my theories on how they are fake tear drop expensive implants, cuz no natural tit hangs with this level of fullness and perfection, especially when bitch was 90 pounds and still managed to rock her full c-cup, but I won’t let that take away from how great they are….I will just let them be a reminder how I coulda been friends with her, you know being carted around the world on her dime, but threw it all away when I realized mocking her was more fun…oh well.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan