A friend of mine fixed a 4 year old hard drive I had lying around the mess that is my bedroom/office/washroom. I am slowly going through some of the shit that I have on it. This is from a long time before I started the site but I was still funny, assuming you find me funny now. Which you probably don’t. Either way, read it:

I went on a walk today and I came across a 50 year old china woman – she was lost and told me she lived with her parents. She asked for directions to get home and i asked her to sleep with me – she said no, so i asked to see her tits – she said no, so i asked what color bra she had on and she walked away. I was drunk and in retrospect, I don’t think she was a china woman at all, I think she was Inuit. That was at 6 am – i was drunk.

I am – celebrity….bitch

I guess things don’t really change in 4 years. Speaking of things never changing, Brooke Shields, despite all the signs that she’s a mom, still looks like she’s rockin’ a bigger cock than you, which may not be saying much, but it’s still a fucking PENIS and mom’s don’t have Penis, at least mine didn’t but I guess I shouldn’t speak for you.

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