I hate Scarlett Johannson more than I hate MUNG’s posts so you can probably imagine the anxiety that I went through in deciding whether to post this….Obviously, MUNG won, because it meant that I didn’t have to bother writing something funny about her fat ass because the humor comes from MUNG’s inability to make you laugh. It’s one of those so bad it’s funny situations. Speaking of being so bad it’s funny. I went out for dinner with a couple of the guys from the park the other night. We managed to find a cheap restaurant that was bring your own bottle. So we all showed up with our $4 forties and ordered some dirty asian meat. It was living large by our standards. We ended up closing down the place, because let’s face it, we spend our entire $20 entertainment fund for the month in one spot and needed to take advantage. This was probably something that the management didn’t want, but I guess they shouldn’t complain, things could be worse, like their families could have been bombed in the Vietnam war or some shit. Either way, one of the crackheads I was with started telling us the story of the bitch he fucked who had herpes and the couple who was obviously on their first date weren’t really impressed, especially when he tried to make them part of the conversation….anyway – enough of this, here’s MUNG.
I just got up. It’s 10:30 AM, it’s raining, and my life sucks more than Paris Hilton’s singing voice. I was thinking about looking for a new job today because my parents are sick of getting calls from creditors looking for money. Then I realized that I have no skills or education to offer our society so I will most likely end up working at a job that involves putting potato wedges into a deep fryer or shooting preteen Ahmish girls execution style. The only highlight of my day has been the memory of the girl I saw at the library last night. I went there to get some old issues of Maxim Magazine for masturbatory material (they actually have them at my local library and most of the pages are missing or stuck together) There she was. The woman of my dreams. Unfortunately she was on the cover of a magazine called “Esquire”, with the words…Sexiest Woman Alive. I thought for a minute about what it would be like to have a woman like that in my life, and then I realized that women like her don’t really dig guys who are balding, overweight, unemployed, alcoholic fiends who live in their parents basement and offer nothing to society. So, in my frustration, I went home and to try and find a girl who does dig losers like myself. I found her on myspace. We exchanged messages and finally have decided to meet in her hometown, the armpit of America (ROCHESTER, NY). I think she is much better looking than the girl on the cover of the Esquire magazine.
Here is her myspace: GO
Here are pics of Scarlett Johanson on the cover of the Esquire Magazine….
YOU DECIDE!!!
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