Remember Kelly Osborne? She was spotted, and by spotted I mean HARD TO MISS at some movie premiere in the UK yesterday. She’s obviously in the Christmas spirit, cuz she looks just like Grimace at the Lafayette Christmas Parade.

Speaking of eggplant colored has beens….Wesley Snipes did some Press Conference about being released for a 1,000,000 bail bond because of tax evasion. I once spent a night with with Wesley Snipes about 5 years ago at a bar in Montreal. I have probably written this story on this site before but I forget. I do know that everyone I know hates me for this story because it was my default dinner party story, and by dinner party I mean drunk in the park with a bag of chips talking to the pigeons.

This is how it went down….or at least how I remember it going down….

I walked into a bar wasted. A friend tells me Wesley Snipes is there. I look over to the bar and see a short dude dressed like a pimp, with a cane and pimp hat and 3-piece suit. I walk up to him and start chatting him up, I don’t remember what I said, but I do remember telling him that he is going to make me a lot of money and that I had a plan for him. I went on to mock him to his face about his talent by telling him that he should have won an Academy Award for Passenger 57 and after about an hour of my abuse he told me to get the fuck away from him or he’d break me or some shit. I remember telling him he should come back to that bar and visit again and he said something about how he could own the whole block if he wanted. Either way, dude left a bad taste in my mouth and a couple years later I heard he was going bankrupt and smiled, like he got what he deserved for being a dick with me.

Last week, I found out he got arrested for tax fraud, and it seems like people always get what they deserve, which is nice to see. He should have listened to me back then, I could have prevented all this with some of my genius ideas, instead he just threatened me. Merry Christmas, Asshole.

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