I am pretty fucking pissed off I missed The View today. I slept in because I spent my night at a strip club. It was Meredith’s goodbye roast, the show of the year, and here I was sleeping in, like the lazy fuck I am. I watch the show daily, mainly because it helps relate to housewives, but also because I don’t have cable and I sit at home all day. Meredith was the original View host I wanted to bang, until they brought on that survivor baby factory slut. In her Goodbye the Jewish one who isn’t Jewish made out with her, and I missed it.

However, it was partially worth it because there’s a stripper at the club who I am convinced is Post Op tranny. She is black, tall, has an adams apple and the worse tit job I have ever seen. She drinks red wine with a straw and dances with a feather and dressed as a sea captain. Bitch is obvioulsy putting on some kind of drag show, and when the pants came off she didn’t have a 40 year old’s vagina, it was more like a 4 year old vagina they make in Thai plastic surgery offices.

Either way, I like my women dainty and useless. If I wanted my woman to have the strength to push my car out of the ditch. I would date a tow truck driver. I don’t have a car, and I’d rather fuck a manly bitch than a dude, but I was trying to make a point, which I failed at. At least I realize I suck and don’t need you to let me know.

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