I was told that the reason I am fun to hang around is because I am weird. I took offense to that shit. I am fun to hang around because I am the coolest motherfucker on the Internet and Internet is life (when you have no friends). I like to think of myself as a normal person and the reason I am called weird is because suburban people hate that I don’t have a job, because having a career fucking sucks. I can barely get by, but at least I can spend my days sitting on a park bench watching 7 year olds play in a wading pool near my house. I don’t do it cuz I am into 7 year olds, I do it because I love fucking with the parents. The world is so fucking paranoid and seeing a sleazy mexican in sunglasses and soiled jogging pants always sets off their alarms. I guess fucking with people is what I do for a job I don’t get paid for, because I also love inappropriately touching people’s dogs. I don’t anything illegal to the dog, I just ask the owner what the dogs name is and start heavy petting until they ask me to stop. It’s always a laugh.

Speaking of laughs, check out this cunt’s bra. Bra’s are always funny when you are in grade 4. Cuddles.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted