Emily Ratajkowski is perfect. I have already written her ten Valentines Day cards…but I have no where to send them….so I just keep them in a box…in the hopes that one day we meet…so that I can give her the jar of semen she’s made me produce….along with all the love letters of written her….it’s bound to impress her and make her fall in love with me…so that we can live a Disney Fairytale love story…with a double wedding…so that I can stare at her body all day….

This strategy is not designed to creep her out…it’s not even designed…it is just what my soul is telling me to do to show her the passion I have for her…you know how much I care…..for her amazing body….a body so good….practically perfect… that I don’t understand why it isn’t top of the charts famous….when so much gutter shit like Kate Upton’s gunt is…

Emily Ratajkowski….I choo choo choose you…..be mine.

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