I hate Valentines Day and I hate love…for a lot of reasons……not because I hate romance, I use that as a strategy to get laid because people are idiots..see cuz I like writing love songs….and the next great american love story…
I hate Valentines day and love because comes with some much annoying responsibility….unnecessary responsibility…like having to be nice to someone who has trapped you in a prison hell…who you hate all to keep up appearances cuz society wants you to….
Most relationships that last involve ugly people who found each other cuz no one wants them….or people who have just fucking giving up on life…
Here’s a compilation of Top 10 ugly couples…which is really the first 10 ugly couples I found…..cuz I didn’t invent this idea…I’m just using on Valentines Day
10 – Those who goth together at the all you can eat buffet every night – stay together….
9- Those who’s gender can’t be determined -“I’m the guy, no you’re the guy”- stay together…
8- Young love at the handicap institution don’t have many options when it comes to finding someone in the same level of retardation – stay together
7- Once you’ve Shared a Banana with Someone you Know You Can Share your Life with them…..
6- When your passion is nudism and cats…and you find someone into that…you know it is forever
5- When obese, and willing to climb a tree for a fat chick, despite the risk of having a heart attack, for an undeserving fat chick, even if she’s the only girl you’ve had sex with, you know you are connected at the emotional eating…
4 – When you find someone willing to dress like the Wizard of Oz for a picture next to you Real Estate Signs – you know there’s very little they won’t do for you….Love.
3- Even if your love ends in a horrible Chainsaw Massacre thanks to his love of chainsaws so deep he brings them everywhere….until having to defend his chainsaw’s honor for murdering those who don’t understand their love….it still counds as “til death do us part”….even if that death is premature….cuz you married a serial killer freak…
2- Ugly People, Ugly Sweaters, But Still Willing to have a Good Laugh at the shitty hand they were dealt, while showcasing their shitty bodies…laughing at their misery together…is Romance…
1 – Sometimes words can’t describe what you’re feeling but….a picture says all you need….
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