Whenever I think about Nicole Richie, I don’t think about the one night I accidentally spent with her back when she was dating DJ AM and I trolled him into thinking I was someone he knew, leading to his people, thinking I knew Nicole, and thus that we wanted to sit together as he DJed….

I do think about her gastric bipass surgery, because she used to be this fat little titty thing who would always act up because she was adopted and you know how adopted people are…

But then she got skinny, less angry, married one of the most embarassing people in Hollywood, one of the Good Charlotte sisters, and is I guess Cameron Diaz’s sister in law…a mom of her own..because unlike her mom…she didn’t throw her babies out in a dumpster outside a Lionel Richie concert….only to be saved…she’s the one doing the saving I guess….and she’s rich enough to do it….thanks to her family, her husband and the fashion line she created after being an obnoxious Paris Hilton sidekick.

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