Maya Hawke is the trending reminder that 22 years ago UMA THURMAN and ETHAN HAWKE had a kid. It’s a relationship I completely forgot about because I don’t give a fuck about celebrity gossip, which is funny considering what I do everyday on this dumb fucking site, but that’s just because of a series of bad decisions that got me here, and a lack of opportunity to get me out of here….

But in all the disappointment that is running an irrelevant celebrity titty blog I’ve found my new passions, which is celebrity kids, the products that crawl out of the cunt of celebrities, who are celebrities by default, born into it…but who possess none of the talent, skill, or effort that requires becoming a celebrity. Just sort of falling into it and mattering because you were born into it…and that’s funny to me.

So why Maya Hawke is out here posing in her underwear is just funny to me, sure she’s got titties, but we got no business seeing those titties, yet here we are looking at her in her underwear…I can say that if I remembered a pregnant Uma Thurman, because even in Pulp Fiction (RIP WEINSTEIN THE VICTIM AND THE RAPIST), I wouldn’t have imagines that her kid would be trying to get clout getting naked online, I would have expected her to be a little less on the internet getting half naked for attention, but the power of getting naked for attention always wins.

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