Jessica Alba is everyone’s favorite Herpes Simplex Virus carrier…that I guess happened when she was fucking Derek Jeter…but likely before…you know Hollywood likes to have herpes because these people are all low lives, just rich versions of street whores…

Alba was lucky enough to be cast as the hot chick in the movies, because every movie needs the hot chick, and she brought a lot of boners to the men of her era…all while never doing nude scenes, or really any movie worth watching…but who needs skills or talent in an industry that doesn’t require talent…you just need the media to hype you up into thinking you are the hot chick…

She’s a mom, her husband is rumored to be a cuck and she still fucks around according to my inside sources…not that I care about that…she’s old.

She’s also a dot com billionaire where her best acting performance to date has been acting as the boss of Honest Company when you know there’s actual people running it.

She’s also big into TikTok which is weird since it is Chinese Spyware, but I guess it’s all marketing for her bullshit brand that pretends to be organic or healthy but has been proven time and again to be shit…but the internet is filled with idiots who buy anything they are told is good for them or the environment despite being. made in Chinese sweatshops…

She’s clearly not very good at twerking and the only thing she’s good or was smart enough to do was launch that internet brand when she was still hyped…before EVERY celeb had a brand…paving the way for celebrity brands everywhere cuz of the success she had….so we can all thank Alba for GOOP…and Kate Hudson’s Fabletics and all the other instagram brand cash grabs everyone does…because CONSUMERISM is real…you can only feel real happiness when you overpay for a product that Alba is pushing…

Maybe, if this was a mom in a bikini twerk, I’d be more hyped on Alba still existing….but instead I see garbage.

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Posted in:Jessica Alba