I was going to live blog the Academy Awards, then I realized that it would be more exciting to Live Blog a a fucking funeral because shit is equally depressing but at least at a funeral you can seduce a mourning new widow to get in your bed and suck your dick in her recent vulnerable state.

I tried to watch 5 minutes of the shit, but turned it off because I don’t have a TV and was forced to go to this queer 80 year old neighbor’s house, when dude pulled out his dick and started jerking off to Jane Russell or some other hot pussy from his day, I figured it was time to book.

To lighten the post Oscar depression, here are some pictures of Brooke Hogan acting a fool with her fake tits that she tries to pretend aren’t fake tits on the beach. Despite her amazing beach dance moves, she will never win an Oscar, but at least she’s already won our hearts. Right….

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Implants|Tits