I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

10

Mar

Ashton Kutcher’s New Show Fucks with Us of the Day

So a while ago I told some TV show producer that I wanted to do a show where we get celebrities to fuck with the media by pulling pranks that all the celeb sites to cover as fact because that’s how obsessed the motherfucker’s are with celebrities.

Obviously, I didn’t get the show because I am still writing this shitty site for no money and I don’t even know how to write, but I did mail it in on a cocktail napkin to some dude did call me back to tell me that me that Ashton Kutcher may produce it. I also sent it to Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and a few other people’s myspace. Well, I never got called back but I did get an email that said Ashton launched a new show called Pop Fiction, where the celebs do pranks on the media and come out with the truth after they fooled all of us.

The first stunt was Paris Hilton seeing an indian priest in what we all thought was her hoping alternative medicine will cure her terminal illness (aids) since the daily medical regiment she has to take daily has been hard on her little stomach, but unfortunately, the only aids this bitch has is the person who wrote her books and runs her business as she sleeps all day and does coke/cock all night.

The second stunt was Avril Lavigne going shopping with a baby bump under her shirt so the people would speculate that her annoying little ass was knocked up. They went so far as to have Avril’s friends email certain blogs confirming the story with “hot tips”, something I’d never believe if I got one, because no one reads my site, so I’d know it was some fucker trying to fuck with me, but these other blogs who think they are actually the media and bringers of news feel like they are Barbara Walters when that happens and publish the stories…and celebrate that shit over a bottlle of wine or some shit, like they’ve really made it.

I guess it’s good to know that celebrities have nothing better to do than get back at us for talking about them. It’s like that time the dude who worked at McDonald’s punched me in the face for buying their burgers. I think they should just appreciate the fact that we buy their smut and go to their fuckin’ movies and make them a lot of fucking money talking about their useless existance. They should leave us the fuck alone and let us watch their boring fuckin’ rich lives because they are more interesting than our lives and stop trying to trick us, like the jocks in fuckin’ highschool. I guess it’s them against us and the war has just been declared, so it’s on.

This whole spitting on the people who make them who they are is more obnoxious than them just being themselves. I can only hope that the next Pop Fiction prank is the 500,000 dollars Demi Moore spent excessively on plastic surgery while the rest of the country is poor and homeless, was actually on a sex change because after seeing the kind of shit her uterus menstruates (Rumer WIllis), she realized she had no business having one….and a dick makes fuckin’ Ashton’s hot pink man pussy a lot easier than the strap on he always begged for….

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