When I’m drunk, my stunt isn’t any of this athletic circus clown shit…I’m more into just staying alive so I can drink more…you know hoping my heart doesn’t fucking explode but sometimes, I’ll bust an experimental dance move, but usually when I’m too drunk to formulate words…that’s when I think experimental dance is the best way to express myself…it’s my kind of tweaking…I guess other drunk stunts I do is try to walk a straight line, offend as many people as possible, get as many free drinks as I can, and rub my penis against the thigh of at least one unsuspecting babe when walking through the crowd…if I’m lucky and have extra money I pull off my favorite drunk stunt and that’s getting a rub and tug…or a back alley blow job from a fat chick or a hooker…because I can’t bring that shit home to me…all this to say I am good at being drunk, but not this good, cuz I can barely even stand…

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