Nothing says I am a loser like posting pictures of Jessica Simpson because one of her nipples is hard. I guess stealing 5 dollars out of my wife’s purse to buy myself a luxurious coffee from Starbucks to pretend I was am a baller for a group of high school girls was probably up there but at least I had the satisfaction of having them call me a fuckin’ pervert as I pointed to my drink and said – I picked this baby up for $5 baby, just imagine all the things I could buy you if I can be this irresponsible with my money by blowin it on iced coffee drinks. If I had known the outcome wouldn’t lead to positive self-esteem boosting attention I was hoping for, I would have just a 40 instead, it never lets me down. I guess girls today just aren’t as easily impressed as they used to be, I blame the media and Paris Hilton for giving them this distorted perception of the value of a dollar as they live their designer jeans, designer coffee, materialistic lives. There was a time you’d get a blowjob for buying a bitch an ice cream cone for 50 cents, not it’s all about gourmet dinners and bottles of champagne. Thanks MTV for ruining it for the poor man….

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