Get into the tropical state of mind motherfuckers….think of all the bikini titties while you sip your margaritas listening to Jimmy Buffett, feeling ok about yourself because he’s told you it is 5 O’Clock somewhere, knowing that supporting alcoholism has made both him and Kenny Chesney billionaires…all because as a people, we like to get CRUNK in the heat staring at tits…

Unfortunately, your all inclusive adventures that may have been put on hold because Covid protocols are some serious bullshit, oppressive bullshit, but if you did get on one of those, your fat wife’s tan lines would be more aggressive burns that put her out of commission for the rest of the trip, assuming she’s not one of those fatties who swims in a T-Shirt…she probably is….but for whatever reason still manages to burn up like she was killed by the Government in WACO…

Luckily, these girls get me in the tropical state of mind because like Quebec strippers in the winter, they’ve found a way to get tanlines…as they know it is NATURE’s highlighter…or maybe they are conspiracy nuts who think the sun give them essential Vitamin D, that is basically the hormone that will save you from a lot of ailments, but thanks to the industrialized world we live in, the majority of motherfuckers are deficient…because they want you sick…

So don’t subscribe to the SUN giving you cancer, the SUN being bad, that shit charges you like a solar panel, you’re supposed to be exposed to it, even if it’s just for the TANLINE TITS.

Posted in:Tanlines